I recently worked with a client who was feeling the weight of aging: the physical and emotional changes related to her menopause transition. She was frustrated about her sudden weight gain. She felt it was out of her control. During our session, she recalled a time in grad school when her relationship with food was far from healthy. Back then, counting every calorie and following strict diet rules felt like a box she was imprisoned to. She was torn between that familiar mindset of “control equals results” and the more intuitive, compassionate approach she was connecting with more recently. So I asked her, “Does this approach honor the wise, intuitive self you are today, or is it pulling you back into that same old diet-culture box?”
Aging With Intention: Whole-Person Wellness
For me, aging is about finding balance—accepting the natural process while making small, meaningful shifts to support my well-being. It’s not about chasing the same results I might have wanted in my 20s or 30s. It’s making intentional choices that feel in sync with who I am today.
I know many of you are right there with me. Scroll through social media, you see women 40+ expressing frustration about rigid health advice: eat more protein, do HIIT workouts, meditate to lower cortisol. Sure, some of it might be useful. But if it’s not in alignment with what works for you, it can feel exhausting and disempowering.
I’ve been there too. Watching those videos is funny because they hit on a shared struggle. But they also leave me thinking: If following every expert’s advice feels like a constant battle, what’s the point?
Here are some thoughts I’ve been playing with:
Resistance Causes Suffering. Acceptance Frees Us.
Aging isn’t something to resist—it’s a natural part of life that reflects our unique journey. If we’re fortunate enough to reach 80, we won’t look like we did at 40—and that’s exactly as it should be. I know there are parts of me that sometimes feel the pull to hold on to youth and feel tempted to invest time, energy, and money into ‘youthful’ products or services. But I also see how easily that focus can shift me away from the joy of living fully, right here and now.
Look in the Mirror Less Often
Here’s a truth I’ve learned: freedom comes from looking at ourselves, less. Every time I get Botox in my forehead, I wonder: Why am I doing this? Half the time, I don’t even like the results. It’s expensive. And worse, it makes me hyper-focus on tiny imperfections—Is one eyebrow higher than the other? Is that wrinkle going away yet? The more I scrutinize, the more I notice things that don’t matter or truly enhance my life.
Some of my most relaxing vacations have been the ones where I didn’t have access to mirrors. When I came home, I realized how liberating it was not to check my reflection as much. It’s a reminder that when we stop picking ourselves apart, we make space for things that really matter – like acceptance and compassion.
Find What Feels Good: The Trap of “Should”
After listening to a podcast about weight training in perimenopause, I started lifting heavier weights and adding sprints to my runs. Guess what? It stole some joy from my workouts.
So, I took a step back and made some shifts, and if I don’t feel up to what was planned, I modify it, skip it or nap. 🙂 When wellness routines feel like a chore, they aren’t really “wellness” at all. Life is too short to follow rules that make us enjoy it less.
Do we really think that those who live the longest, happiest lives are meticulously counting protein grams and doing HIIT three times a week? I was incredibly inspired by a recent story of a woman who lived to be 108 and started running at the age of 100. I highly doubt she was obsessed with macros or burpees, but instead, nurtured meaningful relationships, pursued activities that brought her joy (like her gardening), and found small pleasures in each day.
Become the Wisest Version of Yourself
The key to navigating wellness advice—whether it’s something you hear from a friend, see on Instagram, or read in a magazine—is checking in with yourself. It’s okay to experiment, but only if it feels right for you. Here are three questions I encourage myself to ask before adopting something:
- Is this easy for me to do?
- Will I enjoy doing it?
- Does it align with my values, respect my body, and support the way I want to age?
If you can answer “yes” to those questions, give it a try. But if it feels like a struggle—or worse, if it drains your joy—it’s okay to say no and move on. There’s wisdom in knowing that not every piece of advice is meant for you.
Embrace Your Power
At the end of the day, you are the expert on your body, your life, and your happiness. Social media trends, expert opinions, and even well-meaning friends can offer inspiration—but only you can decide what feels right. Trust yourself. You’ve lived enough life to know what works, what doesn’t, and what brings you peace.
So, carry on, warriors. Aging isn’t a battle to be won—it’s a journey to be embraced. Let your choices reflect the empowered, intuitive person you’ve become.
Aging with Grace Episode 50 on the Love You More Podcast